4Cross Love Letter #9 Upset Remedy

Dear 4Cross Love Birds,

When someone is upset, their response and the best way to help them will depend on their 4Cross position. Each position has unique needs, concerns, and ways of processing emotions. Here are some different approaches based on their position:

For North (Strategic, Decisive, and Driven)

• When upset: Norths tend to feel frustrated when things aren't going according to plan or when they feel a loss of control.

• How to help:

  1. Acknowledge their concerns: Validate their feelings by saying something like, “I see how important this is to you.”

  2. Offer a solution: Norths appreciate strategic thinking and might be open to help if it’s their idea. For example, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

  3. Give them space to process: Norths may need some time alone to think things through.

  4. Reassure them of your trust in their judgment: "I know you’ll find the best way forward."

For East (Energetic, Spontaneous, and Free-Spirited)

• When upset: Easts often feel upset when their freedom feels restricted or when there’s a lack of excitement and possibility.

• How to help:

  1. Listen without judging: Allow them to express themselves openly and without limitations. Engage in their emotions by being enthusiastic and supportive.

  2. Encourage positivity and flexibility: Suggest fun or creative ways to move forward, such as, “Let’s try something new and see where it takes us.”

  3. Be light-hearted and playful: A bit of humor or spontaneity can lift their spirits. “Why don’t we take a break and do something fun?”

  4. Support their freedom: Give them the space to express their feelings without trying to confine them to one solution. Offer flexibility: “We can handle this however you want.”

For South (Supportive, Loyal, and Nurturing)

• When upset: Souths feel distressed when relationships are strained, when there is disharmony, or when they feel underappreciated.

• How to help:

  1. Provide emotional support: Reassure them that you are there for them, saying, “I’m here for you, and I understand how much this matters.”

  2. Offer comfort and understanding: Souths appreciate warmth and empathy. Acknowledge their emotions by saying, “It’s okay to feel this way, let’s work through it together.”

  3. Stay calm and peaceful: Maintain a calm, supportive presence. They need to feel safe and emotionally secure.

  4. Reaffirm your loyalty: Let them know you are on their side, “We’ll get through this, I’m not going anywhere.”

For West (Methodical, Thoughtful, and Precise)

• When upset: Wests become upset when things feel disorganized or out of control, or when their careful plans are disrupted.

• How to help:

  1. Provide clarity and logic: Help them calm down by offering a structured way to approach the problem. “Let’s break this down and figure out the steps we need to take.”

  2. Be patient and thorough: Give them time to process, and don’t rush them. Wests appreciate precision, so let them express their concerns fully.

  3. Offer practical support: Help them create an actionable plan to regain a sense of control. “We can handle this step by step. What’s the first thing we need to do?”

  4. Reassure them with stability: Let them know you understand their need for order and will support them in regaining it. “I’m here to help you get everything back on track.”

By understanding the core concerns and emotional responses of each position, you can offer more effective and empathetic support tailored to their needs.

Until we meet again,

Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator

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