4Cross Love Letter #10 Never Say This!

Dear 4Cross Love Birds,

Here’s what you should never say to each position in the 4Cross Framework, followed by what you could say instead :)

North (Strategic, Decisive, and Driven)

• Never say: "You don’t know what you’re doing."

  • They pride themselves on their decisiveness and vision, and this will undermine their confidence.

• Say: "Is there another way we could look at it?"

  • This reinforces you are considering their strength in making decisions and leadership.

East (Energetic, Spontaneous, and Free-Spirited)

• Never say: "Can’t you just calm down and stick to the plan?"

  • Easts value their freedom and spontaneity, and restricting them will feel suffocating.

• Say: "I love your creativity and energy it might be interesting to look at it differently."

  • This encourages their free spirit and need for spontaneity and expression while expressing concern.

South (Supportive, Loyal, and Nurturing)

• Never say: "Why are you always so sensitive?"

  Souths value emotional connection and harmony, and dismissing their feelings can make them feel misunderstood and unappreciated.

• Say: "I really appreciate how much you care what seems to be bugging you?"

  • This validates their emotional investment in relationships and harmony and your concern for their well-being.

West (Methodical, Thoughtful, and Precise)

• Never say: "Just wing it; the details don’t matter."

  • Wests thrive on precision and planning, and suggesting carelessness will cause them stress.

• Say: "I admire your attention to detail and organization, can you think of another way to look at it?"

  • This acknowledges their need for precision and thoroughness while expressing your concern.

Until we meet again,

Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator

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