4Cross Love Letter #7 Are you good enough?
Dear 4Cross Love Birds,
Have you felt ‘not good enough’ in a relationship or in general? Here is why this is and how you can reconcile your feelings to realize that it has nothing to do with not being good enough. In fact, it’s about embracing your position in the game of love, owning it, and appreciating others! What a relief!
Each position in the 4Cross framework may feel "not good enough" because they inherently lack characteristics that are strengths in other positions. This dynamic stems from how each position views the world and interacts with others based on their primary value. Let's explore why each might feel this way:
North (Wisdom): North is logical, driven, and decisive, valuing certainty and leadership. However, they may feel "not good enough" because they lack the emotional warmth and adaptability of other positions. For instance, Souths are emotionally stable and supportive, which Norths might envy when their direct, goal-focused approach seems cold or disconnected. Additionally, East's spontaneity and charisma might leave Norths feeling too rigid or unexciting, while West’s meticulous planning and precision might make them feel as though they are not detail-oriented enough.
East (Valor): Easts are energetic, spontaneous, and adaptable, thriving on freedom and excitement. Despite these strengths, they may feel inadequate when compared to the stability and emotional intelligence of Souths or the structure and reliability of Wests. Easts can struggle with consistency and focus, feeling scattered compared to the methodical West or emotionally grounded South. Easts may also see Norths as too commanding, making them question their ability to lead with authority.
South (Justice): Souths are empathetic, supportive, and grounded, offering emotional stability to others. However, their tendency to prioritize harmony and avoid conflict can make them feel less assertive or ambitious than Norths or Easts. North’s leadership and decision-making might make South feel inadequate when they’re more comfortable in supporting roles. Additionally, Souths might see Wests’ thoroughness and discipline as superior to their more tolerant, go-with-the-flow nature.
West (Prudence): Wests are precise, detail-oriented, and thorough, often excelling in planning and reflection. Despite this, they might feel “not good enough” when compared to the more outgoing and sociable East, or the emotionally intelligent and compassionate South. Wests may see Norths’ assertiveness and boldness as something they lack, making them feel too hesitant or overly cautious.
In essence, the feelings of inadequacy arise when individuals compare their strengths to what they perceive others excel in, often leading to the mistaken belief that they are lacking because they don't embody all qualities from the other positions.
Until we meet again,
Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator
._|@+(. [)}@ %)*!^!)~
