4Cross Love Letter #3 Are You A Valuable Lover?
Dear 4Cross Love Birds,
If you struggle to figure out a way to fulfill the needs of your potential long-term partner, here are 4 different ways to show them you are considering and planning things based on their perspective in the game of love. If you don’t know your position or that of your mates, then choose one that you think will resonate with them the most, or try a couple. There’s always room for adventure and learning.
North:
How to Ask: "________, I know how much you appreciate well-thought-out plans. I've put together a detailed itinerary for a special evening that includes a dinner at your favorite restaurant followed by a visit to that new art exhibit you mentioned. I'd love to spend this time with you. How does that sound?"
Reason: Norths appreciate clarity, structure, and decisiveness. They are not generally a fan of surprises because it perturbs their concern for certainty. So, telling them your well-planned date shows you respect their time, interests and need to know what they are in for. Don’t get too upset if they want to do it their way, they appreciate the effort more than you know because they are usually the ones declaring.
East:
How to Ask: "Hey _______, I've found this amazing new rooftop bar with a stunning view of the city, and I thought it would be the perfect place for us to explore together this Friday. Let's go and have a spontaneous, fun night out! Are you in?"
Reason: Easts love spontaneity and new experiences. Proposing a fun and exciting plan that allows for flexibility and adventure will appeal to their dynamic nature. Because East are on offense and like to do things their way, don't be surprised if they have their own twist on things but having someone else make the effort to make fun plans is a huge positive emotion for them. The effort will not go unnoticed.
South:
How to Ask: "________, I was thinking it would be lovely to have a cozy evening together this Saturday. How about we cook a homemade dinner, watch a movie, and just enjoy each other's company at home? What do you think?"
Reason: Souths value emotional connection and comfort. A relaxed, intimate setting shows you care about creating a warm and supportive atmosphere. You are going to have to insist that they relax and allow you to help out in cooking, cleaning and caring for them. This effort is huge for them as they feel compelled to put nearly everyone above their needs.
West:
How to Ask: "Hey ________, I know you appreciate attention to detail, so I planned a meticulous evening just for us. How about we start with a carefully selected dinner spot known for its amazing reviews, followed by a stroll through the botanical gardens? I'd love to hear your thoughts."
Reason: Wests appreciate thoroughness and reliability. A date that shows you’ve thought about the details and made careful plans will resonate with their need for order and precision. West thrive in pointing out the neatest of things, so make sure you are there to listen when they have some input on the details that matter to them. The setting up of some adventure where you recognize you understand what drives them is everything. It’s like you are reading their wanting mind!
In all these scenarios, no matter if you know your position or the position of your mate, the simple and meaningful efforts are what matters. It doesn’t have to be grandiose, it needs to be in consideration of their unique wants and needs. Again, if you don’t know their position, don’t worry all of these will work, but I guarantee one will be more spot on than all the others when you do figure out your positions in the Game of Love. Book coming soon!
|.*^ ^-!~& .>.@
Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator
