4Cross Love Letter #24 Love’s Curiosity

Dear 4Cross Love Birds,

Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools in love—it transforms misunderstandings into opportunities for connection and deepens intimacy. When you approach your partner with genuine interest, you open the door to a richer, more fulfilling relationship.

1. Curiosity About Your Partner’s Position
   Each 4Cross position sees the world differently. Instead of assuming you know what they need, ask. For example: “What makes you feel most supported right now?” For a North, it may be clear direction; for a South, it may be a reassuring hug.

2. Curiosity About Their Perspective
   When a disagreement arises, resist the urge to defend your view. Instead, ask: “What’s most important to you in this situation?” Often, their response will reveal a survival concern or unmet need that you can address.

3. Curiosity About Yourself
   Your reactions offer valuable clues about your position. Ask yourself: “Why am I feeling this way? Is my survival concern being triggered?” Self-awareness is the first step to relational growth.

4. Curiosity Builds Emotional Safety
   When your partner feels your genuine interest in their thoughts and emotions, it creates a foundation of trust and safety. Knowing they can be seen and heard without judgment strengthens the bond between you.

Curiosity isn’t about fixing—it’s about discovering. The more you lean into curiosity, the stronger your connection will become.

Until we meet again,

Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator