4Cross Love Letter #19 Reason 4 Concern
Dear 4Cross Love Birds,
The cliché “everything happens for a reason” is better understood as “everything happens because of your concern” within the 4Cross Love Framework. Here’s why:
Driven by Survival Concerns: In the 4Cross Love Framework, each position (North, East, South, West) is driven by a specific survival concern—certainty for Norths, freedom for Easts, stability (harmony) for Souths, and security (order) for Wests. These concerns shape how you perceive situations, make decisions, and react to events. Your survival concern acts as a lens, influencing what you attract, how you respond, and even the kinds of situations you find yourself in.
Behavioral Influence: Your survival concern doesn’t just affect how you interpret events; it also shapes your actions and choices. For example, a North’s concern for certainty might lead them to create rigid plans, which in turn sets off events aligned with that need. Similarly, a South’s desire for stability (harmony) might cause them to avoid conflict, resulting in situations where unresolved issues linger beneath the surface. In this way, events unfold not randomly, but as extensions of your deepest concerns.
Focus and Attention: What you focus on grows. If your core concern is certainty, you’ll put more energy into creating structured environments. If your concern is freedom, you’ll naturally gravitate toward situations that offer flexibility. This focused energy, based on your concern, becomes the catalyst for how events develop, making it seem like “everything happens for a reason,” when in reality, it’s more that your concern shapes everything that happens.
Patterns of Experience: Over time, your position’s concern becomes a predictable pattern in your life. If events repeatedly reflect your concern, it’s not necessarily destiny but a consistent cycle driven by your biology. For example, if you’re a West who values security (order), you may repeatedly encounter disorganization—forcing you to restore structure, aligning with your core concern.
Ultimately, it’s not that a higher cosmic reason dictates events, but that your deep-seated concerns actively shape your experiences and outcomes. In the 4Cross Love Framework, understanding this dynamic gives you clarity about why things happen and how you might consciously steer them.
Until we meet again,
Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator
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