4Cross Love Letter #13 Love Works

Dear 4Cross Love Birds,

Many people often overlook the need to work on love and relationships because of a few common misconceptions:

1. Belief in Romantic Myths

• People often buy into the idea that true love should be effortless or purely driven by fate. They assume that if love is "meant to be," it won’t require work—like the fairy-tale notion that love just happens without intentional effort.

2. Fear of Vulnerability

• Working on love requires deep vulnerability and confronting personal flaws. Many prefer to avoid this discomfort, hoping love will simply sustain itself or improve over time without having to face difficult conversations or personal growth.

3. Cultural Conditioning

• Society often emphasizes individual success and self-reliance over relational skills. We’re taught to strive for professional achievements or personal goals, but there’s less emphasis on the skills and emotional work needed to maintain strong, healthy relationships.

4. Lack of Awareness

• Some simply don’t realize that love is a skill that requires ongoing effort. Without education or role models demonstrating the importance of working on relationships, it’s easy to fall into a passive approach, expecting love to work itself out.

Ultimately, the myth that love should be easy leads many to overlook the intentional, ongoing effort needed to build and sustain fulfilling connections.

Here’s why working on love is just as important as working on your craft, sport, or passions.

1. Growth Through Practice

• Just like any skill, love requires consistent effort, learning, and refinement. It’s not something that stays strong on its own; it evolves with active participation, self-awareness, and dedication.

2. Building Muscle Memory

• In the same way that practice creates muscle memory in sports or crafts, intentional work in love builds emotional resilience, better communication, and stronger connection. The more you engage, the more natural it becomes to navigate challenges and deepen intimacy.

3. Creating Lasting Fulfillment

• Love, like a passion or sport, brings the most fulfillment when approached with dedication and care. When you invest time, energy, and focus, it becomes more rewarding, meaningful, and sustainable.

Ultimately, love thrives when treated as a craft—something you commit to, nurture, and continuously improve over time.

Until we meet again,

Shelly LaVigne - Love Investigator

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